Bad Mum Day(s)

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I started this in the midst of a very Bad Mum Day. The kind when, despite best intentions, nothing gets done, everything goes wrong and the baby senses your stress and uses it to destroy your spirit. It seems the more I try to achieve some days, the less I manage. I woke with a long To Do list – FYI, To Do lists only make you feel like a failure; and a determination to make my son an amazing cake for his Birthday the following day. By 6 p.m. I had a questionable sponge with toxic green icing (I’d attempted baby blue), and hadn’t crossed one thing off my silly, over ambitious list.  I’m not sure why writing a poem about it seemed a sensible option, but it was apparently too early for gin.


The Kind of Mum

Today I tried my best to be the kind of Mum I should,

It seems I didn’t do too well, and things aren’t looking good

I’m sat here eating minstrels, and the house has gone to hell,

Can I have tomorrow off if I pretend to be unwell?


Cleanliness and Godliness, they’ve passed me right on by,

The dust settles too quickly and the washing’s piled too high

The toys make the house messy, and the hoover stands too still,

Perhaps I’ll blitz it all tonight, if I only had the will


I spent 50 minutes rocking, but the baby’s still awake,

His dummy thrown, his raspberries blown, a fool of me he makes

He rubs his eyes with tiredness; his yawn is loud and long,

Even demons sleep eventually, how long can this go on?


And now he needs his dinner, it must be healthy and be fresh,

This self-feeding’s not working, how can he make such mess?

The kitchen’s like a crime scene, bolognaise smeared on the door,

I’ll eat a bit of pasta Mum, but the rest’s going on the floor


So I try to tidy up, and put some stuff away,

For him to pull it out again, it happens every day

We once again abandon, and I cuddle him instead,

I’ll sing that song you love so much, and hope you go to bed


All this stuff I should be doing, as a certain kind of Mother,

Never quite fulfils me from one day to another

I’m allergic to the ironing and the garden’s out of hand,

How so many Mummies multi-task I just don’t understand


And then there’s that holistic stuff, that precious time for me,

Where exactly shall I fit that in? Or just fail miserably?

I should have other interests, to be balanced and be whole,

Don’t get too lost in Mumminess, I must have other goals


So where are all these Mothers, with their nice nails and straight hair?

Your house is clean, your baby sleeps, what secrets can you share?

I’m sure that you are out there, I know that you exist

John Lewis adverts tell me, so it can’t be just a trick


As I down another coffee, I ponder all this stuff,

If I can really have it all, if having all’s enough?

Say my house was tidy, and my hair shiny and neat,

Would it really feel that great, or make my life complete?


So I’m more Primark than Boden, and I’m stained with Lord knows what,

I’m too tired to be bothered, plus I’m happy with my lot

The baby’s well and smiling; his Daddy’s just come home,

He’s mopping up the crime scene while I have a good old moan


We made it through a rubbish day, even if there’s more to come,

I’m chucking the To Do list ‘cos there’s more to being a Mum

Tomorrow I will focus on the things I don’t do badly,

Like silly games and tickle time, and loving my boy madly.

Does anyone else have days of attempting lots and achieving nothing? Or is it just me?!

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25 thoughts on “Bad Mum Day(s)

  1. I absolutely adore this! We have all been there. Hey, my girls are 3 and 6 and I still don’t have a tidy house or a To Do list with it all ticked off! 😉

    • Thanks so much! It is always reassuring to hear that as well, I think I just need to adjust my expectations – considerably! 😉

  2. Brilliant poem – i have lots of days like this too – the kids always seem to sense if I have a big to-do list and resist bedtime. Am slowly learning that I am not Super-Mum and as long as my kids are happy and have their needs met, I have done a good job. And I love your comment about writing this as it was too early for gin too! An excellent summary of the more trying moments of parenthood 🙂

    • Thank you! You are so right that if the kids are safe and happy you are doing a good job (and therefore ARE super-mum!) I get too caught up in all the other stuff sometimes and have to remind myself that looking after my son is enough; that’s what’s important and the rest is just noise!

  3. What a fab poem! Totally sums up life as a mum. Who needs shiny hair anyway? Cuddles with babies are so much more important. But as for to do lists – the trick is to start them off with a lot of jobs that you’ve already done! The more mundane the better: ‘get up’ ‘make cup of tea’ ‘change nappy’ etc then you can tick them off and feel highly productive and quite smug. Job done. #prose4T

    • Thank you! And oh how I love your to-do list trick, I am so copying it! Tomorrow I will include: Walk down stairs, drink tea, brush tea; plus nappies, feed baby etc… I will feel like the most productive person ever!

  4. Oh I love this poem! I remember those days all too well and, just like you, I embraced them. Let’s not care about the mess but about our children and that they’re happy. *That* is what being a mother is all about. The cleaning comes later when they’re old enough to do it themselves 😉

    • I like the idea of them doing it themselves!! I have recently given my son a baby wipe to join me cleaning the kitchen; little weirdo loves it! Of course it makes more mess but I hope the training will pay off! Thanks again for reading and the pingback 🙂

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  6. Exactly this! Even on my days off work with the kids I get nothing done. The house looks like toys r us vomited everywhere constantly.
    I’m at the point where as long as there isn’t poop up the walls or things… “growing” then we’re OK. Oh and perfect hair and nails? Once a month. Maybe. x

    • Haha at toys r us vomit – what a perfect analogy for my house! I can’t believe how much time I used to have to get stuff done, yet thought I was so busy and that it would actually be easier when at home more with a baby. What a loser! But yes, if the walls are poop free, I should consider it a good day! x

      • On Tuesdays I make a list of all the things I can do whilst at home looking after the boys. Never happens. Ever. X

      • Ha, I don’t know why we even bother to make lists – but there’s something irresistible about the damn things!

  7. Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant. It sums up motherhood so completely. Well done, you clever lady. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought 🙂 x

    • Thank you! I’m glad as a stay at home dad you also have these days… I am beginning to accept them as the norm now!

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