Once upon a time, on the edge of the city, in a land pretty much like everywhere else, there lived a Mummy. From the outset, she was a pretty ordinary Mummy, with scruffy hair and a wobbly tummy. She spent her days tidying her house, but it was never tidy. She spent her days feeding her baby, but he always needed feeding again. She spent her days drinking her cup of tea, but it never got finished. She spent her days rocking her baby to sleep, but he never slept enough. She spent her days trying to do other things too, but they never got done.
One day, the Mummy was out with her baby, at a bright, magical place called the supermarket, and they were having fun together. Her baby laughed as she pulled a silly face and blew a raspberry at him, and he punched her in the head with delight and bit her cheek with happiness. The Mummy had everything they needed in her trolley: Nappies, wipes, rice cakes to stop her baby from having a meltdown, and chocolate buttons for when they didn’t work; plus essential things every Mummy needs like coffee and red wine. Continue reading
The face of my freedom
It can be all too easy at times to mourn the things that are no longer available to me now that there’s a baby on the scene. Like long showers, being spontaneous and a decent or even half-decent night’s sleep.
For the moment at least, late night partying is well behind us; we might still be up at 3 AM and there may even be a bottle and the occasional vomit involved, but the circumstances are altogether quite different. Lazy mornings relaxing together are replaced by tag-team parenting at the weekend and begging, pleading and blackmailing for an extra 10 minutes of shut-eye in the week. This baby lark hasn’t half changed things around here. Continue reading
If you’re happy and you know it…
Go to bed; don’t pretend you don’t want to.
OK, I will go. I hope the baby sleeps tonight, he drank all his milk, the temperature is right and I said a prayer. I bet he will sleep. I’ll just do some reading.
GET THE HELL TO BED
Already? Throw me a bone here, baby.
Calm down, it’s just your light sleep rage. Your body can’t handle a 90 minute interruption, or something. Shush, pat – see, he’s back asleep. It’s fine.
Alright, it is fine for now, please be fine Continue reading