Guide To Reluctant Co-sleeping

Comments 12 Standard

Guide to co-sleepingThe subject of co-sleeping has long since been a hotly debated potato in the world of parenting.

Is it wrong to do it? Is it wrong not to? Is it safe? Will it form bad habits? Is it an essential part of bonding and attachment?

So you sift through the reams of conflicting information and studies, in addition to everyone else’s opinions, and eventually make a decision you feel is best for your family. And then of course, your baby tosses all your carefully weighed up thinking out of the proverbial window and tells you how it’s actually going to be. Continue reading

Advertisements

Experiment: Relaxing at Home with a Baby

Comments 16 Standard
relaxing with a babyCan you have a relaxing day with a baby?

Short Answer: Most definitely not, you loser.

Long Answer: Well I doubt it, but I couldn’t say for sure – I guess I’ve never properly tried… It would be amazing if it were possible.

Let’s see!

Participants:

  1. One tired and frazzled Mummy
  2. One adorable and feral infant

Laboratory environment:

A messy house, with all doors and windows barred. Or, to comply with Health & Safety, perhaps just closed. The participants are to be observed in their home environment in order to test the proposed theory accurately and, to truly relax, must stay indoors. DUN DUN DER! Continue reading

How to Get Pregnant in 25 Easy Steps

Comments 44 Standard

And then there were 3

1.Chat with boyfriend about having children – perhaps two or three of ‘em. Imagine them growing up in a perfect bubble of bliss, or something. Agree you will stop birth control and make a baby as soon as married.

2. Have a wonderful wedding day and talk about how romantic a Honeymoon baby would be. Convince self you are pregnant on Honeymoon as a bit more tired than normal and just have a feeling. Tiredness is nothing to do with all the drinking and late nights, and you are definitely not delusional with the feeling

3. Do not get pregnant on Honeymoon. This is okay; it would be a bit soon anyway. Decide to enjoy married life for a while and let nature take its course. Continue reading

Raising A Baby – The Essentials

Comments 6 Standard

 Five things it is essential to know about raising a baby*

Getting down to business

Getting down to business

*Not really that essential at all

  1. It is easier to open a packet of cakes than make a sandwich. Especially one handed (you do it with your teeth).
  2. You won’t enjoy every moment. Bask in some and just try to get through others. You’ll recognise which is which, though the first usually involves a smiling or sleeping baby and the second – poo on the carpet and exhausted crying from you both.
  3. The kitchen floor isn’t dirtier than it used to be, you just notice it more now you are not at work. Stop looking down.
  4. Takeaways are your friend. Don’t judge yourself, even when you drop a bit of peperoni on your sleeping baby’s head
  5. If you’re worried about a lack of a dirty nappy from your baby, just run late for a Doctor’s appointment, strap them in the car seat and lock the front door. The poo will follow immediately, and will most probably be up to their shoulders.

Continue reading