If Toddlers Made New Year’s Resolutions

Comments 30 Standard

We all have changes we’d like to make, and our little tots are no different. Given the opportunity, toddlers are very FullSizeRender3open to self-improvement and actually don’t believe the world revolves around them and their every whim. They simply need the chance to express their thoughts and will then begin to make a positive difference. Good for them!

The following are real accounts from one and two-year-old’s, spoken or written in their own words; although all names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved. Any similarity between these children and mine or my friends’ is purely coincidental. Ahem. Continue reading

How To Party Like a Mother at Christmas

Comments 13 Standard

1011If you don’t have a Christmas Party to attend this year, because you are a stay at home parent or perhaps because your colleagues don’t like you; you are in good company. Whilst other adults are sensibly spending the run-up to Christmas getting trollied on their work do and strutting their stuff to Mariah Carey without fear of reproach, I am at home. A lone Santa hat on the sofa, Love Actually on the television, mince pie crumbs on my dressing gown.  Across town, turkey is gobbled, crackers are pulled, shots are poured and a very merry time is had by all.

Until the vomiting begins, alongside the realisation that they are no longer 22. Continue reading

FAO CBeebies HQ

Comments 23 Standard
CBeebies

PLEASE wash your blanket

Dear CBeebies Boss Person,

I appreciate that being in charge of something so important means you must be very talented and work extremely hard. Either that or you’re knocking off Mr Tumble. Regardless, congratulations.

With that in mind, I don’t wish to tell you your job. I am but a humble parent, who relies on your channel to get me through some dark times – literally – as my son deems 5:30 AM an acceptable time to wake. So firstly, please begin CBeebies before 6, to save me and thousands of others having to do anything drastic like communicate and entertain at such an ungodly hour. Thank you.

To be clear, I really do appreciate what you are bringing to the table, and I also understand that your programmes are meant to be loud, bright and annoying – I do. Continue reading

Tiny Insignificant Motherhood

Comments 54 Standard
Motherhood

Just Motherhood

This thing, how I spend my days, it’s just motherhood, that’s all. It’s nothing amazing and it has all been done before. This strength, this mountain, this winding road – they are what they are – just motherhood.

They say not to lose yourself in motherhood, but I have. You’ve changed me, little boy. All I am and all I do leads back to you, directly or otherwise; and the line between being me and being your Mother blurred the moment I met you. Or maybe a few hours later – the first moments were mostly filled with ‘wow’ and ‘ow’. You and your beautiful big head.

You’ve altered me wholly and left me lost for words. You and I are just tiny insignificant beings – yet tall like trees, limitless like oceans and exceptional to one another. My heart is splashed across our cuddles on the sofa, echoed in your belly laugh, written in the books we read together, impressed upon the changes to my body.  It is everywhere that you are. Continue reading