Bear With…

Please excuse the off-parenting post, but this seemed the best way to let regular readers know that as I’m moving websites at the moment, there may be a little disruption whilst everything gets shifted over. So if things look a bit strange – well stranger than normal – rest assured, I will be back… Lucky you!

As I know even less about websites than I do about babies, I’m mainly crossing my fingers and saying a prayer that email subscribers move over seamlessly, and understand that this should be the case. However if you don’t get a new post from me in the next week or so, please check back here at the usual address www.bigtroubleinlittlenappies so we don’t lose touch! Thanks 🙂

The Healthy Parent’s Five-a-Day Rule

#ParentingDoneRight

We all know the importance of a balanced and healthy diet and the impact this can have on a person’s wellbeing. Ensuring the inclusion of five-a-day in your diet is essential because; healthy body, healthy mind, yes? Then of course, as parents, it must be even more important to eat and drink the right kind of things to maximise our energy and health, because we can’t take sick days. Added to that the requirement to lead by example and have a positive influence on the diets of our children, it’s pretty clear that making the right choices and living within the rules when it comes to healthy eating is a no-brainer.

I appreciate it isn’t always easy to stick to every rule laid out on what to eat and in what amount, and that treating your stomach like a temple can be costly. But January is the perfect time to start afresh and move towards a healthier you. What’s more, following this healthy five-a-day plan could not be simpler.

Memo to my Boss (Issue with working conditions)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this somewhat reluctantly, but after verbal attempts to negotiate broke down without resolution, I am left with little choice. I have been in your employment for over 18 months now, and whilst I enjoy my post immensely, a few changes to my contract are required in order for me to attain some work / life balance.

I wouldn’t usually take a formal approach to this kind of thing, but it can be tricky to hold a sensible conversation with you. You regularly laugh in my face when I am trying to express my dissatisfaction with something you have done, and I find your interruptions – usually involving a request to sing or provide food – rather rude when I am in the middle of making an important point.

Dining Out with a Baby

Dining out, breaking bread, cooking-avoidance… whatever you want to call it: visiting eateries is widely considered a pleasant, social and relaxed experience. Plus, it means no washing up and a guaranteed pudding option. What’s not to like?

When two become three and life changes beyond all recognition, be assured there is no need to give up your hobby (is visiting restaurants a hobby? If not it certainly should be), you may just need to make a few tiny adaptions. So without further ado, here’s how to eat out with your little one. It’s still totally worth the money if you have money to burn.

What The Baby Books Say

Like many excited soon-to-be Mums, I read the baby books and daydreamed naively about how perfect life would be with our new bundle. Sure, we would be tired, but we’ve been tired before – it’s no big deal and it’s only for the first few weeks anyway – right? I would nap in the day, exercise, bake and of course, go out and about and offer baby plenty of play and stimulation – easy.

When my son came along though, we appeared to be working from different manuals, and looking after a baby really wasn’t quite what I expected, or had been led to believe.

When is the Best Time to Have a Baby?

Despite being unable to brief our eggs or sperm on exactly when to meet, the debate rages on:
When is the right – and best – time to have a baby? From the time of year to the time of life, most everyone has an opinion. I see it crop up regularly; in the media, on blogs and forums, and amongst family and friends. I have partaken, I have listened and I have accepted that timing is, of course, the most vital thing. Not the everything-changing child itself you understand, the timing is what really matters.

For starters: you should definitely not have a baby in any of the following months (you have been warned):

If Toddlers Made New Year’s Resolutions

We all have changes we’d like to make, and our little tots are no different. Given the opportunity, toddlers are very open to self-improvement and actually don’t believe the world revolves around them and their every whim. They simply need the chance to express their thoughts and will then begin to make a positive difference. Good for them!

The following are real accounts from one and two-year-old’s, spoken or written in their own words; although all names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved. Any similarity between these children and mine or my friends’ is purely coincidental. Ahem.

How To Party Like a Mother at Christmas

If you don’t have a Christmas Party to attend this year, because you are a stay at home parent or perhaps because your colleagues don’t like you; you are in good company. Whilst other adults are sensibly spending the run-up to Christmas getting trollied on their work do and strutting their stuff to Mariah Carey without fear of reproach, I am at home. A lone Santa hat on the sofa, Love Actually on the television, mince pie crumbs on my dressing gown.  Across town, turkey is gobbled, crackers are pulled, shots are poured and a very merry time is had by all.

Until the vomiting begins, alongside the realisation that they are no longer 22.

FAO CBeebies HQ

PLEASE wash your blanket

Dear CBeebies Boss Person,

I appreciate that being in charge of something so important means you must be very talented and work extremely hard. Either that or you’re knocking off Mr Tumble. Regardless, congratulations.

With that in mind, I don’t wish to tell you your job. I am but a humble parent, who relies on your channel to get me through some dark times – literally – as my son deems 5:30 AM an acceptable time to wake. So firstly, please begin CBeebies before 6, to save me and thousands of others having to do anything drastic like communicate and entertain at such an ungodly hour. Thank you.

To be clear, I really do appreciate what you are bringing to the table, and I also understand that your programmes are meant to be loud, bright and annoying – I do.

Tiny Insignificant Motherhood

Just Motherhood

This thing, how I spend my days, it’s just motherhood, that’s all. It’s nothing amazing and it has all been done before. This strength, this mountain, this winding road – they are what they are – just motherhood.

They say not to lose yourself in motherhood, but I have. You’ve changed me, little boy. All I am and all I do leads back to you, directly or otherwise; and the line between being me and being your Mother blurred the moment I met you. Or maybe a few hours later – the first moments were mostly filled with ‘wow’ and ‘ow’. You and your beautiful big head.

You’ve altered me wholly and left me lost for words. You and I are just tiny insignificant beings – yet tall like trees, limitless like oceans and exceptional to one another. My heart is splashed across our cuddles on the sofa, echoed in your belly laugh, written in the books we read together, impressed upon the changes to my body.  It is everywhere that you are.